Just from the point of convenience...but that would be another topic.
I have
been complaining about not being able to find a girlfriend for ages. Part of it
is my penis‘ fault. As much as I like to believe that I am searching for a
girlfriend based mainly on her character traits, you can only go so far by pretending that sexual attraction doesn't play a big part in this.
One is too
tall, the other one’s too short. One is too skinny, the other one‘s too
self-absorbed.
Then
penis goes on a WHOLE different adventure, leaving the brain sitting there,
chillaxing. It goes on seeking unrealistic goals. Pretty, really pretty girls,
out of his league girls…
This is
where I like to use this new theory of mine – friends / acquaintances / family
members, basically every person that has ever paid me a compliment for being a
good guy or boyfriend has spoiled me. And in no way am I blaming them, they
were nice enough to pay me a compliment, I can only be thankful. But my brain is
a stupidly mysterious place. As much as I like to put myself down, mostly in
order to not get people’s expectations high, I often love myself. I know –
weird. But true. And this constant feeling of self-worth as a boyfriend /
decent human being has driven me to the point, where I think that the kind of
exterior that attracts me now is way out of my league.
Of
course if I know this fact then I should be able to use logic and be able to
look elsewhere. Well …wrong. It might just be my way of satisfying myself with
a good enough of explanation for why I should be able to look into out of my
league exteriors but I think that I could never be the settler. I have a very
difficult time when lying to people who I am close to, meaning that in time, I
am afraid, I would become bitter and unhappy with the relationship.
I know
that the plot of “She’s out of my league” movie is a plot for a movie and not
for a life. But I can’t help, but to expect, that I will someday meet my Lilly.
