internet communication and why people hate Nathan Grey

so there's this thing called 'internet' and everyone is all friendly and getting to know each other with it's help.
the problem with me and internet is that...i hate communicating through internet.
it has nothing to do with me not wanting to speak with that hot chick I totally don't have a future with(that my friends is another topic...completely).
and i hate feeling like a bastard, when people write and we talk and then they write me a couple of more times and then they are like 'fuck it. this bastard can't write a word to me and i always have to be the one to start the conversation.' and they stop writing me and lose interest in me.
see, when i'm on the computer it means one of two things, it's either i am working or i am enjoying my free time.
and yes, you would think that 'free time' also includes talking to people...not in my world.
free time is my chance to catch up on TV series and movies and maybe some games.

i much rather prefer meeting up in reality to talking on the internet.




i just realized...i hate the fact that people became so dependent on social sites to meet new people.
communicating on internet takes so many things away from the conversation:
body language
seeing actual person's face, not the one they make in front of the camera to look good
seeing her eyes, whether she plays with her hair and if she does:
seeing how she plays with her hair
seeing how she reacts when you talk about your favorite things
being able to at least guess if she's being honest or not


so just to sum up.
me not writing to someone isn't a proof of not wanting to be friends.
on the other hand being the one who offers a meet is a sign of me liking someone, it means I want to give this thing a chance.

endoo.deviantart.com/

Some things about girls and how Nathan Grey sees them

i've this one big problem.
often, when i look through some cute girl's pictures i am all like 'awww, she's so cute, i'd marr...' and then i see a photo of her with a cigarette. boom, instant turn-off, don't even want to look at her anymore.
i know it's kind of a stupid thing, since it's so popular to smoke right now.
it might even be more popular than it was around 5-7 years ago.
so yeah, it's stupid because the chances that i might find a girl who doesn't smoke and she's at least a moderate geek are very slim compared to the chances to meet that geeky girl if i tolerate smoking.
well tolerate isn't a good word....i don't really have anything against people who smoke, especially guys, it's just i would much rather prefer a non-smoking girlfriend to smoking one.
then again, i know there's a chance i might just end up with a smoking girlfriend in the end even with my 'tolerance' problems.

i feel like i talked about these things.

well the other thing isn't a problem at all, i just find it odd.
it has been difficult for me to feel happy about relationships and be hopeful about new ones for quite some time.
i've been tossed and played around quite a bit, not a big trust person at the moment.
...getting to the point, watching my friends find their soul partners...is a very pleasent feeling.
i feel happy for them, not just 'yay, my friend is happy now' kind of happy.
for a second i feel like my relationship problems are gone and just the fact that they are happy is enough for me to be happy.
i'm especially happy to see that my first ever ex (which was probably the only one i ever really cared about) is happy right now with another guy, it's very heart warming.