Having a penis is not great

Just from the point of convenience...but that would be another topic.

I have been complaining about not being able to find a girlfriend for ages. Part of it is my penis‘ fault. As much as I like to believe that I am searching for a girlfriend based mainly on her character traits, you can only go so far by pretending that sexual attraction doesn't play a big part in this.

One is too tall, the other one’s too short. One is too skinny, the other one‘s too self-absorbed.

Then penis goes on a WHOLE different adventure, leaving the brain sitting there, chillaxing. It goes on seeking unrealistic goals. Pretty, really pretty girls, out of his league girls…

This is where I like to use this new theory of mine – friends / acquaintances / family members, basically every person that has ever paid me a compliment for being a good guy or boyfriend has spoiled me. And in no way am I blaming them, they were nice enough to pay me a compliment, I can only be thankful. But my brain is a stupidly mysterious place. As much as I like to put myself down, mostly in order to not get people’s expectations high, I often love myself. I know – weird. But true. And this constant feeling of self-worth as a boyfriend / decent human being has driven me to the point, where I think that the kind of exterior that attracts me now is way out of my league.

Of course if I know this fact then I should be able to use logic and be able to look elsewhere. Well …wrong. It might just be my way of satisfying myself with a good enough of explanation for why I should be able to look into out of my league exteriors but I think that I could never be the settler. I have a very difficult time when lying to people who I am close to, meaning that in time, I am afraid, I would become bitter and unhappy with the relationship.

I know that the plot of “She’s out of my league” movie is a plot for a movie and not for a life. But I can’t help, but to expect, that I will someday meet my Lilly.

 this-is-tis.deviantart.com